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Relationship

  • Sondra Ray: Loving Relationships
  • Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks: Conscious Loving
  • Susan M. Campbell: The Couple's Journey
  • Barry and Joyce Vissell: The Shared Heart
  • Robin Norwood: Women Who Love Too Much
  • Sanaya Roman: Soul Love
  • Don Miguel Ruiz: The Mastery of Love
  • Marshall B. Rosenberg: Nonviolent Communication
  • Gary Chapman: The Five Love Languages

"Wholeness" - Free Toning Download

I wrote last year about how I felt guided to do more toning to shift energy rather than just using breathwork and intention. I can barely believe it's been only a year.  It feels like I've been using toning forever! It's become a major feature of my work, and it's such a flexible and beautiful tool.

I've found that people really like it -- they find it relaxing and it puts them into an altered state, they find it aesthetically pleasing and we've also found that when someone listens back to a recording of their session, the healing intentions are imbedded in the toning in such a way that they continue to get benefit on repeated listenings. People have told me that it's like having another session, and some have listened to recordings of a particular session 10 or 15 times, especially if it's one we do when they are going through an emotional crisis.

My sessions are now usually a blend of intuitive work and toning, with one extreme being an hour of toning and the other being an hour of information but most sessions having some of both.

When I taught the first energy-reading course in the autumn, I found I could tone and shift energy for groups. I used toning to help us get present and connected in a heart-centred way when we did conference calls and group practices. That was fascinating as I discovered I could switch between focussing on the group and focussing on an individual - and the participants, knew when I was doing it! "Oh part of that was for Jane".

I've been experimenting with doing some recorded tonings on specific topics, set with the intention that anyone who listens will receive healing from them (as opposed to my session work that is tailored to an individual at a specific time). This is my first recording and I'm calling it 'Wholeness' because it's focussed on the question "What needs to shift for me to become more whole?" I'm offering it as a free download and welcome feedback.

Right click the link and choose 'save target as' to download it and play it back on your computer (it won't stream). You can burn it to cd or put it on your mp3 player.

Wholeness

Energy-reading Waldorf, Montessori and Reggio Emilia

Waldorf, Montessori and Reggio Emilia are three alternative education approaches that a lot of progressive parents are drawn to, whether they are homeschooling or putting their children into schools.  My daughter will soon be 3, so I've been exploring different ideas around education and wanted to have a deeper understanding of these philosophies and methods.

last week after enquiring about a waldorf kindergarten that only takes 4 yr olds, i was on the bus and decided to energy-read what steiner was trying to do with his outlines for children (i haven't actually read what he's written)...to summarize it quickly i got that he was communicating something about the relationship with the child coming in as spirit and adapting to the material world. so for that star/earth mix to work the best (healthy integration), his suggestions involved a systematic grounding that didn't break the spirit awareness (which i think often happened) but helped it adapt to earth-based reality so it could survive. i could see from this that he used his own cultural myths and ideas around spirit - if he were more aware of other cultures' ways of conceptualizing this, the waldorf schools might have different traditions.

later i decided to energy-read it some more and compare it to montessori and reggio. then i read more about waldorf on the internet and found some interesting correlations. so for instance i felt there was a strong theosophical thread in steiner's philosophy and yesterday i looked up theosophy on wikipedia and it turns out his foundation was in theosophy but then he branched off with his own version.

so here is more of the energy-reading:

my sense is that the thrust of the waldorf approach is quite humanistic, wanting to create well-rounded people and 'world citizens'. i feel it is trying to correct something having to do with an imbalance between what i'll call feminine and masculine (matter/spirit) energy in a patriarchal environment. i feel that it was very much speaking to the tensions of it's time and place (1925 germany) and also stamped with the biases of that location. so for instance, even though steiner tries to privilege certain aspects of the feminine (and so waldorf seems compatible with earthy-positive/ap parenting) it also has certain racist ideas (ie some races are more spiritually evolved than others) which bespeak the negative projection of the feminine/matter that germany was grappling with. i think he was doing the best he could from within his own world view.

the feeling i got from montessori was that it was primarily about creating intellectual scaffolding through concrete experiences to stimulate maximum growth of the child. the image i got was of zig zags that hit a wall on each side and caused them to zig in the opposite way (so like a zigzag ladder). it's very practical and realistic, it's a sensory and grounded approach (although not necessarily *grounding* for the child) and promotes self-responsibility, self-correction and learning on one's own. i feel it comes from a world view that the world isn't a particularly nurturing or supportive place and that montessori method helps the child survive and thrive no matter what. through developing good mental habits and conceptual protocols, you preserve yourself in a tough world and can succeed in any environment. i also feel that it takes the natural learning motivation from within the child and grafts in into a system that promotes competency as defined in a fairly mainstream way. so i'm not surprised that montessori shows the best results in terms of testable outcomes - it does well at the job of schooling as it is traditionally understood. i get the feeling that it values a type of creativity that is of a problem solving/applied creative skill sort. not like the imagination type favoured by waldorf.

with reggio, my overall impression was of exploring life (learning) as a creative process. it's the most recently born approach and feels quite post-modern to me. it's also not as set as the other two and i feel that schools that say they use reggio methods could look vastly different. the child follows a unique path, a kind of spiralling out of discovery. i got a very unfolding feeling. i feel like it promotes self-reflexiveness and dialogue between the child and the environment and people around her. i wrote down the words 'internalizing and forming the world through inner feedback loops/processes.' reggio seemed rather abstract to me, yet the one i liked the best. part of my preference for it is that the other two seemed to come from a specific idea/projection of what the world is and the educational method is a response and a solution to the observed problems in that world. whereas reggio does not posit an idea/projection of the world - it kind of seems to believe that the child creates it's world conceptually through this back and forth creative dialectic that is always expanding and building on itself. so the child's identity is constantly grows and is remade as is it's picture of the world. much more law of attraction-ish!

i've been realizing through research and through energy reading that neither waldorf nor montessori are actually pro-attachment parenting. they almost seek to make the child independent of it's family/cultural context (ie. montessori energetically implies you can become competent/accomplished despite what your parents <or anyone> are like or what they do/don't do, and discourages dependence on the teacher - child is supposed to use themselves and peers to move forward). so this also helps me understand how waldorf can say no tv/computers for kids who's environment is totally media rich, and seek to protect children from worldly non-waldorf influences. reggio is the only one that explicitly values interpersonal relationships and interaction as growth experiences and encourages dialogue even if it is conflictual. waldorf is more about receiving/attuning to inner spiritual harmony that then is supposed to manifest in outer harmonious social experiences.


Feedback from the first energy-reading class

This is some feedback from the energy-reading course I taught this autumn:


taking this course has been huge for me. i knew it would be, but you never really know until you go through it. i think learning to recognize my intuition has really enhanced my life in so many ways. firstly, it makes my own personal healing a priority. it really amazes me how learning to e-read sheds light on so much of my own stuff, and how making sense of that helps me become a better e-reader. i love e-reading because it helps me get in touch with the part of me that is whole. e-reading brings me to a place where i transcend my regular, everyday self and i become more. and being able to do that when i want to, at my will, or my intention, makes everyday life so much more enjoyable.

i notice it in simple things. like for example, if my partner and i have a disagreement about something (which happened the other day because of some outer stress), i now have the tools to be able to step back, tune in and find some answers as to what just happened energetically. doing that, it makes doing the right thing, like saying sorry for example, that much easier and meaningful. or making choices like which school to send my daughter to no longer has to be an agonizing and time consuming process. i easily made that decision without hesitation after tuning in for about 5 minutes!

taking the course i feel has changed me from the inside out. i am finding that now, i am more inclined to look inside of myself for my own answers to life's big questions, like what is the best way to parent my children? how can i best support my partner? why do my parents act the way they do, and how can i love them unconditionally? why is my cell phone not working? just kidding! no, i'm not kidding actually!

through learning to e-read, i know now that i am capable of finding my own answers, and more importantly trusting my intuition and guidance. i think learning to trust was a huge lesson for me throughout this.

i found the online support to be amazing, and i don't know if i would have made the same progress without it. having easy access to you Amy was very important, but also being able to chat with other students and share experiences was incredibly helpful. 

context links

Just wanted to let you know that I've just discovered that there are random links in my pages that link to amazon products, which I didn't put in myself.  I wanted to add links to books I specifically recommend but somehow I also now have in-text words highlighted and linked to things I didn't choose (although most seemed vaguely related to spirituality and personal growth).  I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of them (which is turning out to be more difficult than I thought) but until them, know that I'm not recommending most of the links you'll find.  (The titles on the sides of the blog are ones I stand behind though.) 

Learning to energy-read

After about a year of mulling it over, I've decided to move into teaching energy-reading.  The format will include:

  • One-on-one sessions where I can work on your energy body and coach you in starting to energy-read
  • Conference calls where I will answer participant questions and speak on specific topics related to energy-reading and healing
  • Podcasts or audio files with sample sessions that I've done with volunteer clients
  • Moderated small group practice
  • Handouts, homework and reading list
  • Online discussion in a private forum

If this is something you would be interested in, contact me!

We are moving

Nelson Just a bit of news...I am going to be moving to beautiful Nelson, British Columbia at the end of this month.  It's a town of 10,000 in the West Koonetays, off the west arm of Kootenay Lake and nestled at the base of the Selkirk mountains.  Mothering magazine has named it one of the top three places in Canada to raise children and apparently you can't throw a stone without hitting a healer - I should fit in.  I've been wanting to leave Toronto for a while so a few months ago I energetically scanned North America and came up with Nelson as a good option.  Along with some synchronistic winks from the universe and an easily manifested apartment, I found myself on my way.

I've always lived in big cities but have wanted to live closer to nature.  Now's my big chance! 

wise ways of women

I've been meaning to write new stuff for this blog for a while now but I've been spending lot of my spare time on wisewaysofwomen.com, a site where (mostly) women discuss the law of attraction.  It's a cool community - I especially love that there are lots of mothers on there and we can talk about things like how to manifest the birth you want, or how to apply the law of attraction approach to parenting.  Fun!  I love the internet.Wise_ways_of_women_header_2


So how did you get into this line of work?

So how *did* you get into this line of work?

This is a question I get asked fairly frequently.  The answer depends on how far back you want to go, what angle you want to take on it, how much time you have...

Here's an arbitrary description:

At the end of highschool I had my heart broken which threw me into an existential crisis.  I'd already been doing some meditation and spiritual exploration, and I began practicing a visualizion that got you to imagine energy coming up your spine and out the top of your head.  This triggered what I now surmise to be a kundalini opening for me.  It was very intense, surreal and hard to describe but it allowed me to get in touch with what felt like REALITY, apart from the circumstances and programming I'd grown up with.

I'd always been sensitive to things like smoke, perfumes and new car smell.  After this spiritual breakthrough I was much more sensitive and ended up getting very sick and depressed at university, eventually dropping out.  It took me a few years to be able to put a name to what happened - I had multiple chemical sensitivity, sometimes known as environmental illness. 

I spent two years in Toronto, exploring alternative healing and my spiritual path while working retail.  I learned many things through trying to heal my body from the inside.  I found using my attention in different ways could make changes in how it felt.  I taught myself how to move energy around my body to deal with the physical pain and fatique I suffered.  I also learned to listen to subtle messages about what it wanted - for example, becoming vegetarian for a time. 

I moved to Vancouver in 1997 (body's suggestion - it said I needed to be near the ocean) and on the first day there met my energy reading mentor-to-be, Janet.  We originally connected through talking about reiki and then later she took me to a healing group where I got to see healers all using different techniques and modalities. I felt like I was in some futuristic setting - one person would be doing toning, another waving their arms over the person, another sitting next to them speaking quietly about things coming up in the future.  It was exciting and educational.

When I was in crisis, Janet would do energy readings for me. I was so impressed and surprised because she could help me resolve something in half an hour that normally would have taken me several days to deal with. The more I learned, the more I felt somehow that I would also be able to do this, and one day I told her that. She said 'Oh, I am so sure you could.' She then gave me all of one instruction: "Ok, I'll ask you a question and you look inside yourself for the answer."

I had a cold that day and I remember feeling heavy-headed and congested.  I tried to look inside myself and I didn't see anything, but weirdly, my hands were burning - kind of like when I did reiki except my hands weren't on anyone. I was going to stop several times but she'd say, "No, no, keep going. I know you aren't seeing anything but the energy is moving...just keep going." After about 15 or 20 minutes of this, my cold was gone and I started getting images and impressions.

Since that day, I have been able to get energetic information in the form of sensations or inner images, but it took me practice to be able to interpret and express them well.  I practiced intensely with her for about a year, reading energy every day and picking her brain. I met other healers through her who did similar work and we'd have all day energy reading/healing 'jams'.  A few of those events, coming together with other healers,  really took my abilities to new levels.   I also gained experience by doing healing readings for friends and friends of friends.

In 1999, I got into a relationship with someone who has been doing chi gung since he was a child and so is quite an energy healer himself.  We learned from each other and he was a pivotal resource as I moved into doing healing work for a living. He enlarged my perspective and effected some changes in the way I approached certain things;  he supported and validated me as I took a course in clinical counselling and started doing sessions for money.   

In counselling school, I got a better understanding of certain dynamics like projection, introjection, subconscious associations and group process.  It also gave me a certain amount of conceptual language.  A lot of it actually got in my way though, because it was very 'in the head' and didn't mesh with what I knew about healing and REALITY.  In certain ways it was actually damaging and invalidating.  I have ended up discarding much of the intellectual (patriarchal) framework from traditional counselling, keeping a few things that were valuable.  (This topic could be a whole 'nother blog post...)

In 2001 I began studying sound healing which enabled me to understand frequency, vibration & entrainment in more detail (that comes in handy in any healing modality).  It also got me back into singing - I found a way to blend the artistic and spiritual sides of myself in my performing and songwriting.  It also helped me to connect to my ancestry and the earth energy that goes with it through collecting and performing african and african american spirituals.

I had wanted to run 'manifesting' groups for a long time and the next year I did. They cemented my knowing that we are constantly supported by the universe.  I saw time and time again, how we basically block ourselves from receiving.  To have what we want and need, all we have to do is open up to having it given to us.  Of course that is easier said than done sometimes - mind/ego/identity wants us to keep things linear but the Love that creates isn't linear. 

I began to change the structure of the questions I used to navigate during a session.  Instead of asking what was wrong or where the problem was, I learned to ask what needs to clear or what needs to happen so the client can receive what they are looking for.  A small but significant shift in my orientation.

And the last big change has been birth. It was another kundalini experience - I was rebirthed through birthing.  I got to shed some of my "karma" and realized more about human consciousness, it's possibilities, and it's inherent challenges.  On the practical side, the form of my work changed - I began to do sessions by phone and with people far away.  The type of client I worked with began to change which in itself allowed the work to evolve.   

Through having my daughter I've been pushed to own that without a doubt, I do create everything that happens in my life.  To live up to the responsibility of being a conscious parent, I've been encouraged to systematically reclaim power from any place I've given it away - ideas and perceptions aound relationship, family, money, community, health, and conventional mothering in general.  But paradoxically, my conception of our oneness has been enhanced.  And of course, I'm in awe of nature's ingenuity and wisdom.  Source is that much closer and I am increasingly able to trust in our co-created adventures.

evolving again

Photos_march_and_april_2007_061_2I just came back from a two and a half week trip where I didn't work much.  Before I left, my work was beginning to change, but with taking a break, it really had a chance to shift.  So I'm finding that my work has morphed again.

One thing that was happening before I left, was that I was suddenly finding myself feeling more and more drained by the energy healing specifically.  I was guided to move towards toning instead of just using my focus and breath.  I also felt like I wanted to let my mind go more and move into a deeper state of trance, without tracking any information.  I felt less inclined to look for specific information and when I would ask questions, especially the 'what needs to happen for x to occur' type, often I'd get a pure energy shift as the answer, rather than conceptual or intellectual information that I could relate to my client.

I've been letting myself go with this change and the more I do the easier the whole process gets.  The drained feeling has gone and instead I feel mightily calm and whole at the end.  I've been explaining to clients about how I'm working differently and a few have reported results that they thought were awesome, others I haven't heard back from yet - maybe they aren't sure what to expect (I wasn't at first either, but now I know it's working well).  The informational component has been coming back though, which I am glad about.

It seems like my old tools are being retired - like I was trying to lift heavier loads (moving more energy per session) with tools that weren't optimum.  From dial-up to broadband I suppose.  I really have to trust in the 'mindless' these days...it has all the answers!

I did some work on the friend I was staying with one night and it was quite a long session of the new type.  I could feel how  deep in I was and by the end I was in a tremendously altered state, very out of body.  I had the strong realization that the places where I think I am making my life decisions are not where they are being made - it's somewhere completely different.  Now I've had this realization before, but I could see how I'd lost track of that knowledge.  It was very helpful in reminding me to let go of thinking I can control anything from the personality level.

Toning

I took a few workshops in sound healing in 2001 from Simon Heather (he's great) and learned an easy method of using toning to do physical healing.  I guess because physical healing isn't really the thing that interests me, I never used it much after the course was over.  Some of the general principals of sound healing were useful, improving my understanding and my singing, but I didn't integrate any techniques into my intuitive work.   Now it's coming back in a very different way, blending itself seemlessly with the way I have been doing energy healing and getting intuitive information.  It's easily focussed on any issue, which is so interesting to me - I can use the tones to release emotions, beliefs or idea structures, just as I've been doing without it, but the process feels streamlined.  I'm loving it.

Another aspect I'm loving is sometimes getting the sense of a 'song' in someone's energy field.  I start off with plain long tones but sometimes I get guided more towards a definite melodic motif which then causes certain things to release. 

life just keeps teaching me...I'm grateful.

my perception is a loving action

This is a little poem I wrote in response to a session I did today:

'my perception is a loving action'

i see only
inner good
inner beauty
inner value
inner truth
inner light

i draw them forth
with the power of my
sight

i embrace the completeness
of all that is
pulling from it
all i need
and all that
resonates
with my
essence

this is deep peace -
where my perception
is a loving action
springing from
the eternal

where my vision
resonates with who
i truly am
and reassures me
i can trust
in the riches
and the
fertile matrix
of this existence